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Writer's pictureStephanie Laidlaw

Fantasy Vs. Reality: Thinking About Someone Else While in a Relationship

It's normal to find people attractive, but depending on how your partner feels, it may be hurtful to express that. If your partner feels jealous or insecure because of that, it is important to address that. This could mean using more words of affirmation to show your attraction and love for your partner! It could also be that your partner's jealousy and insecurity stems from trauma, which should be addressed with a counsellor.


Is it Wrong to Fantasize?

Whether it's wrong to fantasize about someone else while in a relationship is a subjective issue. It can be argued that fantasies are a natural part of human sexuality and don't necessarily reflect dissatisfaction with one's partner or a desire to act upon them. On the other hand, such fantasies can be emotionally hurtful to a partner, as they may feel betrayed or self-conscious. Open communication is crucial to navigating this delicate issue and can help create a healthy balance between personal fantasies and the commitment to the relationship. In the end, what matters most is the level of trust, communication, and agreed boundaries maintained!


Is watching porn cheating?

Watching porn can be great foreplay with a partner. It can even inspire you to try something new in the bedroom! But, the idea of your partner "getting off" to a pornstar might make you uncomfortable for several reasons. It might be that your partner is choosing to view pornography that feels degrading, unrealistic, and/or unrepresentative of your body. It also could be that they are seemingly only interested in pornography rather than you.



Ultimately, you should discuss your sexual boundaries early on with your partner, and decide what best works for you. Talking about this will ensure you are both clear on what you're comfortable with. It could save you from the stress of an argument! Simply communicating this can make your relationship feel much more secure.


What's your opinion? Answer anonymously below!


Is Watching Porn Cheating?

  • Yes!

  • No!

  • It depends!



Wishing You Were With Someone Else


Do you often find yourself imagining what your life would be like without your partner? Does the thought of a life without them appeal to you? Is there another person (or type of person) you find yourself wishing you were with instead? This is a slippery slope, and a warning sign for sure! It's time to evaluate the state of the relationship, as well as what you want from it. Exploring relationship counselling and coaching can also be extremely beneficial, whether the couple stays together or not in the end, it can provide you the tools and insight you need going forward.


Remembering "The Good Old Days"


If your relationship once was a source of satisfaction, security, and happiness, and has since run into turmoil, you may find yourself wishing things could go back to how they were in the past. You may feel like your "spark" has burnt out. You can still connect to those treasured memories and reignite that spark at the same time!


It's crucial also to accept when a relationship has run its course. This can be excruciatingly difficult if you still hold feelings for them, and it just isn't working out despite your best efforts. We have to grieve the loss of that relationship, which is no easy feat!


“The end of a relationship is not always a failure. Sometimes all the love in the world is not enough to save something. In these cases, it is not a matter of fault from either person. Some things cannot be, it's as simple as that.” ― Ashly Lorenzana

I offer relationship coaching support to women looking to discover their inner goddess, recognize their self-worth, and find the love and pleasure they deserve in life.


Book a free strategy call with me here.

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